Wednesday, March 14, 2007

2007 NCAA Basketball Tournament Predictions (Part 3 of 4): The East

This continues my 4-part series predicting the 2007 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. Parts 1 and 2 ARE MUCH FUNNIER THAN PART 3 and can be found by scrolling down. My legendary 2005 predictions are here and here. My 1996-2004 and 2006 predictions are here (pointing to my memory).

(#1 seed) North Carolina vs. (#16 seed) Eastern Kentucky

I don't like North Carolina and their powder blue uniforms and their "tradition." Whatever. Anyway, they win.

(#2) Georgetown vs. (#15) Belmont

Hmm. Georgetown is in Washington, DC. I spent a week there back in the fall of 2002. It was a fun time. I took the train everywhere. I ate gourmet sandwiches. I spoke at a conference. I think I even watched TV in my hotel room. It rained a lot. But the sandwiches were good. Oh yeah - I saw that Igby Goes Down movie in DC. Nice movie. Hoyas win.

(#3) Washington State vs. (#14) Oral Roberts

This is where the memories get darker. You see, that trip to DC in '02 was back when I worked for a company that shall remain nameless. My boss at this job, as I've mentioned in this blog before, was a Washington State alumnus. She had a miniature tea cup collection. She was a part-time hypnotherapist. She once made a patently offensive comment about one-half of my heritage. No, she twice made that comment. This regrettable action was almost made up for the fact that she and her husband owned the entire pre-breakup oeuvre of Steely Dan. On vinyl! Washington State wins because Oral Roberts is a televangelist.

(#4) Texas vs. (#13) New Mexico State

The University of Texas loses points because it is the alumnus of George W. Bush. However, it gains more points because it's in Austin, hometown of a long list of great bands... bands such as the Reivers and.... who else? Hmm. I think that's it. Daniel Johnston lived there for a while but I like melodies so he doesn't cut it. But the Reivers, back when they were known as Zeitgeist, recorded the greatest, jangliest song in the history of music: Freight Train Rain. That's enough for me. Texas wins.

(#5) USC vs. (#12) Arkansas

I don't know what to say about this one. I wish I had some kind of personal connection to one of these schools. I wish I had some kind of story to tell. But I'm drawing a blank. Arkansas? yeah, I've heard of it. Bill Clinton went there, didn't he? USC? University of Southern California, I think. Don't know much about them. I think their team is called the Spartans. Let me check on that... ... ... ... oh wait, they're the Trojans. Trojans! Cool name. They win.

(#6) Vanderbilt vs. (#11) George Washington

Vanderbilt is in Nashville. Johnny Cash is from around there. George Washington (the school) is from Washington, DC. See my Igby Goes Down story above. Johnny Cash is cooler than Macaulay Culkin. But is he cooler than Macaulay Culkin, Jeff Goldblum, AND Amanda Peet? Of course not. GW wins.

(#7) Boston College vs. (#10) Texas Tech

I was in Boston once, in 1996. twice, actually. In the early 80s and then in '96. On my '96 trip, I went to a Spiritualized concert at a club right next to Fenway Park. But they didn't play Ladies and Gentleman We Are Floating in Space so it was a waste. Come to think of it, that song hadn't even been released yet, so it was a retroactive waste. Okay, back to reality. Texas Tech is coached by that annoying Bob Knight (Hey Knight, please don't take the Gophers job if they offer it to you) and back in the mid 90s, there was that great NBC sitcom about life in a Boston college (not to be confused with THE Boston College) called Boston Common starring Monk's personal assistant. I liked that show. BC wins.

(#8) Marquette vs. (9) Michigan State

Wow, this one is ripe for a story. You see, I spent some time in Milwaukee (home of Marquette) this past spring and summer. But you've heard enough stories about Milwaukee, haven't you? You don't want to hear another? And how could I top my Michigan State entry from 2005? I can't so I won't bother trying. What I wrote back then was poetry!

Okay, you got me. One more Milwaukee story. It was the 2nd of July, 2006. I was carrying the pizza. She was carrying the DVD. We found the tiny shiny car, parked in that lot behind the place where you could get an amazing tofu thing for breakfast. We drove west, to Dausman. The movie (You, Me, and Everyone We Know) was good, not great. The pizza was somewhere between good and great. And the story ends there. Two days later, I was back in Los Angeles, climbing the Music Box Steps (or something approximating them) to get a better look at the 4th of July fireworks. Milwaukee was a memory, but a nice one. Unfortunately, Michigan State wins because... just because.

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