Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Jump Hooking

I just wrote a very controversial paragraph detailing an illogical political view that I hold. Realizing it would offend most people and confuse the rest and that I, in my iconoclastic way, will be the only one to truly appreciate the subtleties and genius of the political opinion, I censored myself. Feel free to ask me in person what the hell I'm talking about. It's not what you think. Unless it is what you think.

I cleaned my work desk and office today. It feels good. I feel clean.

I'm proud to say that if the officiating in the Super Bowl had been fair and just, my prediction of a Seahawks 24-17 would have been spot-on. Dig: the first quarter fake pass-interference call cost Seattle 4 points (they settled for a field goal); the second quarter fake holding call cost them 3 points (took them out of reachable field goal range; and the fourth quarter fake holding call cost them 7 points. Meanwhile, the Steelers got 4 free points on Ben's second quarter fake touchdown (Cowher would've gone for the field goal on 4th down). Add all these "what-if points" and the Steelers 21-10 win becomes a 24-17 loss. God, I'm good.

Sorry for all the sports talk Laurel. But check this out: Mad Dog's blog keeps getting better. And nowhere is it as good as when Mad Dog details his text message exchanges with his fellow pros. In his January 27 entry, he offers a wholly gratuitous translation of some Kandi Man text:

At the end of his text he said, something along the lines of "I'll jump hook you when I see you next," meaning, he was going to shoot his jump hook over me. Well if you look at the schedule, I'll be seeing him really soon!

Thanks Mark. Now I'm trying to figure out other possible meanings for "I'll jump hook you."

And how about the Wolves beating the Suns in Phoenix! Can we just start Marcus Banks and send Marko Jaric to some other team with an unreasonably high opinion of him? No need for an Anthony Carter transition period, Dwayne.

Okay. No more sports talk until at least Thursday.


thingsoncobras said...

I'll jump hook you ... sounds kind of brokeback to me.

Jason B. said...

No, obviously Kandi meant he was going to slam dunk over him. What other meaning could there be?