Laurie and Lou

In lieu of "new" material, here's a poem I wrote back in 2003 during my "celebrity poem" phase. In it I imagine the daily workings of the relationship between performance "art"ist Laurie Anderson and "sing"er/songwriter/ bon vivant Lou Reed. Back then some were suspicious of their relationship ("isn't Reed gay?" "isn't Anderson a lesbian who used to date Yoko?") (Apparently no and no. Or not anymore and not anymore.) Anyway, they got married in 2008. Let's celebrate their love but first let me apologize sincerely to Lou and Laurie for my assumptions about their personal habits. Enjoy:




Lou Reed says to Laurie
"I'll get the junk this time
I'm going to the store to buy some meat
Leg of lamb this time
I'll pick up the junk
From Petey by the elevated
Train in the sun
It's on the way home"

Laurie says to Lou
"Identity. Identity. Identity
There is a leg of lamb
Called identity"

Lou Reed says to Laurie
"I used to snap my fingers
The girls lined up like brownies
Manny with his boom box
Rudy and his bag of rocks
You know that was the first time
I heard anyone say 'Homey'
It's the ugliness I miss the most"

Laurie says to Lou
"What the fuck
Are you talking about?
I am an acrobat
I am a seamstress
I will make the uniform
You wear as you fall"

Lou Reed says to Laurie
"I'll get the junk this time
No need to call up
The guy with the goods uptown
Encyclopedia Brown
He's been inconsistent
Like Dillon in the movies"

Laurie says to Lou
"Approximate. Identity. Approximate
There is a tug of war
In our garden
Let's go see"

Lou Reed says to Laurie
"Doormen tipped their hats to me
From Brooklyn to the Bowery
I know that's small, but rock and roll's
Not everything, not anymore
Did Apollonia 6 write their own songs?"

Laurie says to Lou
"Repent. Reevaluate. Repent
There is a superstar named Fagen
He's eating breakfast by the pier
Word on the street
Is that the word on the street
Is ambivalence"

Lou Reed says to Laurie
"I'll get the junk this time
Leg of lamb and key lime pie
Cut the junk and cue the cry
The telephone is ringing
Is that my mother on the phone?"