You're With Me

Today, in my letter to the Los Angeles Parking Bureau, I contested a parking ticket by writing a medium-sized letter that included the following words: justice, neighborliness, and standards. I wonder what that will get me. At least they'll all enjoy a good laugh when they reject my plea.

Maybe I link to Deadspin way too much. And maybe this is only a funny story if you're familiar with Chris Berman. But still....wow.

And now, as a service to the many people (0) who have read The Roadhouse and asked me questions about it, here are real answers to your imaginary questions:

Q: Was Brenda really a hippie?
A: Okay, remember this is a work of fiction. But yes there was really a Brenda. No one has names like Brenda anymore. Anyway, yes she was sort of a hippie, but one with a strong work ethic. I heard she works in the publishing industry now.

Q: What's with the God stuff?
A: Just working things out in my mind, or should I say, in the narrator's mind.

Q: Did Mary really cackle like that?
A: No.

Q: Didn't you mess up the geography a bit - why would there be billboards for East Stroudsburg car dealerships all the way down near Dublin? That's like 56 miles away!
A: Good question. But I see it as a speculative fiction piece.

Q: Where the hell is Doylestown? Or, for that metter East Stroudsburg or Dublin?
A: Doylestown is in Bucks County, Pennsylvania (in the suburbs of Philadelphia), home of Ween and Robert Redford's summer house. Every other place in the story is farther north.

Q: Was there really a roadhouse dude?
A: Yes.

Q: Didn't you steal the abandoned bicycle conceit?
A: Yes, Mike, I did.

Q: Were Donna's parents really anti-abortion religious fanatics?
A: Never met them but I think so. Wait, this is fiction. Yeah, they were crazy.

Q: Did you really drive to the roadhouse with Mary and Brenda?
A: I drove separately.

Q: What music did you listen to in your car as you drove separately?
A: This.

Q: What's your favorite song on that album?
A: So. Central Rain.

Q: Do you like the cover of that song by that one singer?
A: Yes, it's good.

Q: What does that have to do with the story?
A: This is a blog. No rules here.

Q: Did hearing R.E.M.'s original version of the song randomly in a Coffee Bean in Santa Monica inspire you to write the story?
A: Surprisingly, yes.

Q: What else about the Coffee Bean inspires you?
A: Their lowbrow aspirations.

Okay, enough with the questions. Have a good day.