Cowboy Songs

It's Friday. Time for a list. Sorry, Paula Cole.

Top 8 Songs With Cowboy in the Title

8. I Wanna Be A Cowboy - Boys Don't Cry
A straightforward desire becomes a generational catchphrase. It would seem that these men - these boys - who feel the need to announce that they simply are not the type to produce tears are maybe not the most likely candidates for cowboy status. In other words, real cowboys do cry. For their fallen horses and their absent cowgirls. Still, these guys rocked the loudspeakers of many mid-priced chain restaurants from '87 to '92 and for that we should be thankful.

7. Lonesome Cowboy Bill - Velvet Underground
A silly throwaway song from a silly tossabout band. Well, a tossabout band with seven or eight perfect songs and a skivload of addlebrained missed opportunities. Which describes the solo careers of Lou and John and Nico as well. This song, about William S. Burroughs, is difficult to remember. And usually unremembered songs don't make lists. But I needed eight songs because a Top 7 doesn't quite sound right.

6. Cowboy - Kid Rock
His shining moment. He stood at the tip of the mountain that straddled the valley of his ahistorical purview. His fall was so hard that not even a dying midget could break it. Now he's a punchline. But back then oh how he mixed it.

5. Rhinestone Cowboy - Glen Campbell
That's one thing about cowboys. The only things they care about more than their horses are their outfits. The hat's got to be tilted just so. The boots need the proper amount of scuff. The whole get-up's got to have a thin fine layer of dust but nothing more. And for Friday nights at the roadhouse or perhaps the dark below-ground bar in town you can only enter from the alley, the place where men and only men look down as they drink, there's rhinestone.

4. Cowboys - Zeitgeist/Reivers
In which the singer claims that you can still hear cowboys. If you listen closely enough. If you pine hard enough. If you crank up the jangle and muffle the bass just so. If you reverb the background vocals and Spectorize the lead. Then, you can still hear them. Riding up the range. Shooting down the moon, as the roar of a freight train mingles with the rainsplash. And you're late for Sociology class. But it's okay. You know everything. You're just waiting to be asked about it all.

3. Japanese Cowboy - Ween
Such a simple concept - something just doesn't seem right - and the guys from the town next to the town I grew up in are the first to nail it just so. You see, something about the singer's relationship is askew. He can't name it. He can't place it. It's like a Japanese cowboy. Or a brother on skates.

2. Cowboy Dreams - Prefab Sprout
Until last week this would have been #1.

Love's a silver bullet that blows your world apart
I wanna be remembered as an outlaw
as the boy who stole your heart
I wanna be the guy who wears the white hat
then rides across the plain
I'm gonna be your enigmatic stranger
honey, you are looking at your Shane.

Need I quote more? And not just that but the creepiest/lamest/most beautiful yippi-ay-a ever uttered.

1. Black Cowboys - Bruce Springsteen
Often when a veteran artist whose best days are past puts out a long-awaited album and it's somehow pleasing to the ears, long-time fans will proclaim it the best work of his/her/their career since (fill in the blank). Most of the time this statement is hyperbole, wishful thinking, crazy talk, etc. Weeks or years later, reality sets in and Carl realizes that Steel Wheels isn't the Stones' best album since Exile. Mike realizes thar Mirror Ball isn't Neil Young's best work since Re-Ac-Tor. John discovers that Margerine Eclipse really isn't Steroelab's best since Ketchup. Patrick realizes that Asia will never achieve the heights of their debut. And critics all over the early-90s pop culture disapora figure out that Achtung Baby is nothing if not a throwaway (if they'd only waited until Zooropa). So it is with hesitation that I proclaim the lamely titled Devils and Dust Bruce's best album since Tunnel of Love. And it is with great apprehension that I judge Black Cowboys to be his best song since Sherry Darling. But here I am. And here it is. And maybe it's been done before - the inner city kid whose neighborhood is afflicted with gang violence reads a book about black cowboys and sets off on a train to Oklahoma to do some research. But it's never been done quite as tenderly as this.