Sunday, March 22, 2009

Robot or Ghost?

I'm writing this on the windiest day I've experienced in quite a while. My cat Lily is clinging to me, purring and sensing danger. The final episode of this season's Big Love is on in the background. I'm cold. There's laundry to be done. I need to sleep. The view outside is dark and cloudy and fuzzy and twinkling. I'm thinking of leaving the view of the hills behind and replacing it with something smaller, less far reaching. I sense the need for change.

The scene I just watched was heart-crushing. Nikki... knowing something with certainty, wanting something for someone else, unable to act, unable to change minds.

And now my mind is racing as I'm warmed by a cat, chilled by a wind, and shocked by a plot development. I want the racing replaced by peace. I want the peace to be easy and long-lasting. I want people to stop going away, to start coming back. I want all the papers on my desk at work to be organized. I want to swim tomorrow - midday, between meetings.

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